sharpsecret's Diaryland Diary

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december mornings havent even started

I'm tired, its cold and dark and i want to be drunk. i skived work on tuesday and got hammered on weed and cider by 1, passed out woke up ate and threw up because drinking gave me and excuse to purge.
people at work can be like robots, sometimes i feel like shocking them out of their skin. they see whats on the surface of everything, i can see it in their eyes.
im also not at work today, im just sat on the couch listening to portishead, i want new sounds in my head.
the sky looks so blank outside. i think ill be getting drunk again tonight, helps me sleep and talk and laugh, love it.
my scars are just white lumps, no more pink or red ones, they look horrible, if i could i would re do every cut right now, i miss the release so much at times like this.i miss the buzz and the risk and the danger, makes me feel so alive and on the tip of life. i love destuction, and in my own little ways i know ill always be a sucker for it.

5:21 p.m. - 2007-11-30

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